Every parent wonders: "Is this normal teen behavior, or is something seriously wrong?"
Adolescence is inherently turbulent. Mood swings, risk-taking, and conflict are developmentally normal. But sometimes, what looks like "typical teen stuff" is actually a cry for help.
Here's how to know when it's time to seek professional support.
Red Flags: Seek Help Immediately
These situations require immediate professional intervention:
1. Suicidal Thoughts or Self-Harm
- Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves
- Looking for ways to end their life (researching methods, stockpiling pills)
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Cutting, burning, or other self-injury
- Giving away prized possessions
- Saying goodbye to people as if they won't see them again
Action: Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), take them to the ER, or call 911. Do not leave them alone.
2. Substance Abuse
- Regular use of alcohol or drugs
- Using alone or in dangerous situations
- Inability to stop despite negative consequences
- Withdrawal symptoms when not using
- Overdose or near-overdose
Action: Seek assessment from a substance abuse professional immediately.
3. Psychotic Symptoms
- Hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there
- Paranoid or delusional thinking
- Disorganized speech or behavior
- Complete loss of touch with reality
Action: Seek psychiatric evaluation immediately.
4. Violent or Dangerous Behavior
- Threats to harm others
- Physical violence toward people or animals
- Destruction of property
- Reckless behavior that puts them or others at risk
Action: Ensure everyone's safety first, then seek professional help.
Yellow Flags: Seek Help Soon
These patterns suggest your teen is struggling and would benefit from professional support:
1. Persistent Mood Changes
- Sadness, irritability, or anger lasting more than 2 weeks
- Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy
- Extreme mood swings
- Chronic anxiety or worry
2. Social Withdrawal
- Isolating from friends and family
- Spending all time alone in their room
- Dropping out of activities and social events
- No close friendships
3. Academic Decline
- Sudden drop in grades
- Frequent absences or tardiness
- Loss of motivation or effort
- Discipline problems at school
4. Changes in Sleep or Appetite
- Sleeping much more or less than usual
- Significant weight loss or gain
- Loss of appetite or overeating
- Fatigue or low energy
5. Risky Behavior
- Reckless driving
- Unprotected sex or promiscuity
- Shoplifting or other illegal activity
- Hanging out with a concerning peer group
6. Physical Complaints
- Frequent headaches or stomachaches
- Unexplained aches and pains
- Complaints with no medical cause
Green Flags: Monitor but Don't Panic
These behaviors are concerning but may be temporary or situational:
- Occasional moodiness or irritability
- Conflict with parents (within reason)
- Wanting more privacy and independence
- Experimenting with identity (clothes, music, friends)
- Occasional rule-breaking or testing boundaries
Action: Stay connected, keep communication open, and monitor for escalation.
Trust Your Gut
You know your teen better than anyone. If something feels off—even if you can't articulate exactly what—trust that instinct.
It's better to seek help and be told "everything's fine" than to wait until a crisis happens.
Common Barriers to Seeking Help
"It's Just a Phase"
Maybe. But phases shouldn't last months or significantly impair functioning.
"They'll Be Mad at Me"
They might be. But your job is to keep them safe, not to be their friend.
"I Don't Want to Overreact"
Seeking assessment isn't overreacting—it's responsible parenting.
"What Will People Think?"
Who cares? Your teen's wellbeing is more important than stigma or judgment.
"We Can't Afford It"
Many options exist: insurance coverage, sliding scale fees, school counselors, community mental health centers.
"They Won't Go"
You're the parent. You can require it, just like you'd require them to see a doctor for a broken bone.
Where to Start
- Talk to your teen: Express concern, not judgment
- Consult your pediatrician: Rule out medical causes, get referrals
- Contact your insurance: Understand your mental health benefits
- Reach out to school: School counselors can provide support and referrals
- Call a professional: Therapist, coach, or treatment program for assessment
What to Expect from an Assessment
A comprehensive assessment will evaluate:
- Mental health symptoms
- Substance use
- Academic and social functioning
- Family dynamics
- Trauma or adverse experiences
- Strengths and protective factors
The professional will then recommend a level of care:
- Outpatient therapy or coaching
- Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
- Partial hospitalization program (PHP)
- Residential treatment
- Inpatient hospitalization (for safety)
Early Intervention Changes Everything
The earlier you intervene, the better the outcomes. Don't wait for rock bottom.
If you're reading this article and wondering if your teen needs help, that's probably your answer.
Not sure if your teen needs professional support? Let's talk. Schedule a free consultation for an honest assessment of your situation.
